My first Mother’s Day was about the most typical mother’s day you could imagine.
My oldest was about 3 1/2 months old and I believe I spent the day in PJ’s with spit-up all over me. I definitely do not remember any particular details of the day. The days all run together with a newborn at home.
Being a mom has very little to do with a child coming out of your womb. It is wildly more complex than sharing a DNA strand. Take my family. My step-mom has been a part of my life since I was about 4 years old. I have never considered her anything but a mom. I have always looked at it as having 2 moms and that suited me just fine.
This has been a huge blessing in my life.
As I grew up I realized the intricate balance (or lack thereof) of family dynamics and that every child that came from divorced parents didn’t always have a great relationship with their step-moms. Imagine my shock when I understood that.
Regardless of how your family does Mother’s Day, this year is going to be vastly different for all of us. As typical mothers do, we find ways to rise up and make this day unforgettable.
We have to find different ways to celebrate this day with our moms.
Drive-by dropping off gifts. Cards sent by regular old snail mail. FaceTime and zoom visits. Ordering brunch or dinner as take-out. Most of us will be spending it at home with our immediate families, not lavishing in all the pampering that we all deserve. But, we will make the best of it because that’s what us moms do.
My 5-year-old always says, “everyone has a mom”.
Children are so literal. While this is a true statement, it is not always true for everyone. Many of us have complex relationships with our moms. It is not always an easy thing to discuss with other people. I know women who have a deep sense of jealously when mother’s day rolls around because of their fractured relationships with their own mothers. There are so many reasons why a woman may not have the ability or want to celebrate this day with their mom.
Women are amazing.
Moms are superwomen. The mom friends in my life have guided me through so many emotional rollercoasters in parenting. I turn to them often. I watch these women raise families with determination, grace, patience, and love on a daily basis. It is wonderful to be apart of.
My hope is that everyone can find something good that is happening in their life on Mother’s Day. If this year just sucks and quite frankly it does for a lot of people, try to think of something that you are grateful for. Focus on it. Change your perspective around. See if that helps. I also encourage all the moms out there to get 30 minutes to themselves. Take a break. You’ve earned it.