When did it start? For me, it started when I became pregnant. I watched as other moms-to-be ate beautiful salads, ran half marathons, and looked like they fit into my grade school jeans. But me? I was all about all of the Magic Wok I could get. As for running, eh, put that on hold. Jeans? What were those? Leggings were my new thing and about the only thing I fit into. This is where mom guilt sunk in. I started believing I wasn’t the being the best mom, the best person, for this tiny human growing inside of me. I wasn’t running, I wasn’t eating 100% clean, but truly, no matter how well I ate or how much I tried to be active, I was finding myself feeling guilty about some other thing.
Then I had a baby.
The mom guilt increased tenfold. Then I began to wonder what the root of mom guilt really was. A lot of guilt stems from fear. Majority of guilt may also come from the insecurities within each of our hearts, that we aren’t doing the best, or we aren’t being the best mom that we could be. Truthfully, maybe sometimes, that guilt comes from knowing that we truly could have done something better. I know that some guilt has been there to serve as a reminder for me to be more attentive to my daughter’s needs. The majority of the time, however, mom guilt is useless. It causes us to compare, to feel like we’ve fallen short, or to feel like there are a million better moms out there who were more perfectly suited to be a mom. Let’s not fall subject to this guilt.
Mom guilt is a real thing. As moms, we need to consciencely choose the path to less fear, and more freedom. Freedom away from comparisons. Freedom away from the guilty thoughts. Freedom of the fear of doing wrong. Freedom from the fear of not doing our best. Freedom from it all and it starts with a simple mindset change.
Here are 3 easy things we can do to take steps toward freedom of the mom-guilt mentality:
- It starts with you. What is your self talk? The conversations you have with yourself will create the reality you are living in. Choose empowerment. Shower yourself with thoughts like, “I’m a wonderful mom!” or “I am a loving friend!” These positive thoughts can go a long way because the more you say them to yourself, the more likely you will actually start to believe them.
- Others play a major role. Surround yourself with people who want to see you become the best version of yourself & vice versa. Make sure you have a friend or a group of friends whom are in your corner. Are they rooting you on? Are they tearing you down? Toxic relationships can play a HUGE role on your mom-guilt mentality. Surround yourself with your people, and love your people hard.
- Adopt new thinking. Read books or listen to podcasts that can inspire you to be free of the mom-guilt thoughts. Remember that the root of guilt could be fear, or maybe an insecurity, so what could you read or listen to that could help you navigate changing your mindset?
Next time those mom-guilt thoughts start to creep in, just remember, that you can change your mind, to ultimately change your world.