What can be so tough about befriending a single momma? She’s a girlfriend like any other girlfriend. The two of you talk, have lunch, share playdates with the kids just like any other girlfriend. If only it were that simple.
Single mommas come in all varieties. Some have chosen to be single parents from the beginning and are comfortable in their space. Others have been thrown dramatically into a role that they never thought they would be cast into. This is where friending becomes challenging, to say the least. These relationships can also grow into some of the most treasured of one’s life.
So how can I help a single momma friend the most? Start by sometimes doing absolutely nothing at all. There are times where she just needs a listening adult ear. She may have not had an adult to converse with during the past several hours or maybe even days. Give her an opportunity to vent and air her feelings. On the flip side maybe she just wants to listen to the adult interactions of your own day. Having a conversation that has absolutely nothing to do with children is a luxury in the day of a single momma.
Relationships between two single mommas flow very easily with the vast common ground they share. The art in friendships begins when one momma is married and the other is single. Where the single momma is in the process determines her needs. Newly single mommas may have a hard time relating to married life and hearing about the most recent kind gesture by your husband could bring her to tears. On the other hand, those that have been single longer can commiserate about your husband forgetting your anniversary again. A very special relationship can develop over time by learning from one another’s shared experiences.
Flexibility in your relationship with a single momma is also key. There may be a night your husband has kid duty and you are dying for a girl’s night out. Your single momma gal pal isn’t able to make it so now what? Creativity is key in these situations. Don’t think that she doesn’t want to join you. She is also more than likely dying to get away from reality for a bit. Enjoy a coffee together while in the pick-up line at school. Get a workout in together. One of the most luxurious gifts to a single momma is coming over a lending a hand in the day to day activities in her home. One less basket of laundry to fold is heavenly.
So when looking at your “squad” make sure to cherish that single momma. She’s a special lady that shoulders a different angle of parenting. She needs you differently than your other gal pals but has a unique perspective on the world that is so very valuable. Always consider her priceless in the bank of friendship.