When are you going to have another baby? When are the boys going to get another little brother? You should try for the girl that you want to have.
All the dreaded questions and comments that typically come from random strangers and noisy relatives… but instead have recently been coming from my husband.
My husband and I already have two boys, an 8-year-old and a 3-year-old.
At one time I thought three would be the magic number and then we would be done. But right now, my kids are actually at a really good age. There’s no more diapers, baby bottles, my 8-year-old knows how to make himself simple meals, and he’s very good at helping me out with my 3-year-old, plus he’s old enough to do chores! I finally feel like I have gotten my identity back, a little more “me” time, and don’t even get me started on all that extra baby weight that finally decided to get lost.
Trust me, I’ve thought long and hard about getting pregnant again. And, yes, I would love to “try for a girl” as they say. But honestly, I cannot come to terms with the idea of having to be pregnant, give birth, and go through the baby stages all over again. I had two less than ideal pregnancies and a very difficult birth with my last child that would make anyone want to rethink having children.
My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t understand.
I mean why should he, he’s a guy, he doesn’t have to go through being pregnant or any of that. While he is an outstanding father, he is also a super busy business owner who is not around to help out. More kids would mean more work to do and without someone to help me, it already sounds exhausting.
I know what you’re probably thinking, the “how many kids do you want to have conversation” is something you should have before you get married. Well, I had my first son when I was 21. My husband and I basically did everything backward. We actually had our two boys walk down the aisle at our wedding. But I guess that whole story is for another blog post.
So, now here we are, stuck between a rock and a hard place. I feel guilty because I am not giving my husband what he wants and I’m being selfish. I feel a little uncertain that maybe I am missing out on having another child.
But for the most part, I feel strong, because I am doing what I feel is right for myself.
