National Awkward Moment Day is March 18, 2020.
The dictionary defines awkward as: “(1) causing difficulty; hard to do or deal with, (2) causing or feeling embarrassment or inconvenience, and (3) not smooth or graceful; ungainly.”
If that doesn’t describe motherhood, I don’t know what does! Being a mama is the most humbling experience that comes chock-full of awkward and embarrassing moments (almost always in public, amirite?!). To honor National Awkward Moments Day this year, I’ve compiled a list of moments shared with me by other mamas and a few of my own. All stories are anonymous to protect the shred of pride left in the moms involved. Read along, laugh, cry, cringe, nod your head in agreement, and C.E.L.E.B.R.A.T.E the awkwardness of motherhood!
The Live Broadcast
“I went to the bathroom at Target and when we came out, my toddler screamed, ‘Mama go poopy!’ while clapping. Now he announces it every time I go to the bathroom. Anywhere.”
“When my son was around 6 months old, we were at a brewery with my husband, brother-in-law and his wife. I was nursing and the baby popped off so quickly I accidentally flashed my boob to my brother-in-law since he was sitting across from me.”
“We were out running errands when my son needed to be changed. We had run out of diapers in the diaper bag (rookie move), but I had a dirty swim diaper and a t-shirt in the car. So, I folded up the t-shirt and put it inside the swim diaper.”
“When I was delirious from my epidural and post-birth hormones, I accidentally sent everyone (co-workers included) a photo with my full nipple exposed. I only saw my boy’s sweet face laying on my chest. I neglected to notice my nipple until a few days later.”
“My toddler asked me if I could smell her fart at my other daughter’s soccer game and the guy behind me laughed and said, ‘YES!’ “
“I had to take my son (3 at the time) into the bathroom stall with me. He asked loudly why I had so much blood in my underwear and what is that bandaid I was putting in my underwear. Thank goodness we were on vacation so it’s not like I would know anyone.”
I.B…..So Outta Here
“During my pregnancy, I had IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) type issues. One day, I had to go really bad at Walmart but I didn’t quite make it in time. While my husband was buying me a change of clothes, my 4-year-old said loudly, “Mama, you’re a big girl. Big girls don’t poopy their pants!” I was so mortified, I didn’t go back to that Walmart for a looooong time.”
Ma, More Milk!
“One day, long after I had stopped breastfeeding, my daughter and I were cuddling on the couch. She decided to yank my boob out of my shirt. I said, “there’s nothing in there for you.” She proceeded to dump her milk cup all over me as if that somehow would refill my boob.”
Clean-Up in Aisle 9
“I was grocery shopping with my toddler, who was facing me in his Lillebaby carrier. All of a sudden, he started projectile vomiting an entire serving of peach oatmeal all over my chest, down the front of my shirt and bra, and down my sides. It felt like a never-ending amount. I couldn’t run to the bathroom fast enough to scrape all the oatmeal chunks off in the bathroom trash. From there, I ran to the car. I wanted to die.”
“My 3 year old has periods of constipation. None of the usual natural methods were working so we decided to try a suppository. That alone is torture enough. The next day, she went to daycare and told her teacher, “Daddy stuck a white crayon up my butt.” Thank god the teacher figured it out before I got there.”